I ask myself sometimes why I do things the way I do. It's not that it's immensely bad, it's just horrible after seriously reflecting on what I did.

I am generally a good person. I try not to get into fights, not even petty arguments. But on days that somebody pisses me off, I have this feeling inside me to deliberately piss them off back. It gets exciting because I get my brain to sort of create a blueprint on how to get revenge. The blueprint gets materialized and results are outstanding! I laugh my gut out for having have hurt them back.

It's fun for a couple of minutes and then I return to my good girl persona and feel guilty and feel like saying sorry. Awful...plain awful to even plan to get revenge, but hey I got my feelings hurt. Got to take care of 'lil old me.

**off to making a blueprint (evil laugh)